💭 When a Woman Is “Above Average,” She’s Just Doing What Men Get Praised for Avoiding

Let’s cut through the noise.

We throw around the term “above average woman” like she’s some rare mythical creature—when in reality, she’s just a woman who’s done the inner work. A woman who knows and respects herself and ultimately, refuses to hand over her soul for scraps disguised as love.

She’s not hard to please… She’s just no longer impressed by dysfunction.

The Truth? Most “High Standards” Are Just Basic Human Traits

We’ve reached a point where asking a man to:

Be kind

Be emotionally intelligent

Be sexually disciplined

Be self-reflective

Be loyal

Be intentional with his life is seen as “a lot.”

But women are expected to be all of the above by default.

She’s expected to:

Understand his triggers

Nurture him without nagging

Heal from her past but tolerate his

Be feminine, sexy, soft, strong, spiritual, and maternal—on cue

And never, ever complain

And the moment she dares to ask for reciprocity?

“She’s asking for too much.”

“She’s gonna die alone.”

“She should be grateful someone wants her.”

No. She should be grateful she finally walked away from crumbs.

This Isn’t About Ego—It’s About Pattern Recognition

What women are calling “standards” today used to just be called character.

But now? Because the average man has been socially rewarded for being emotionally stunted, sexually reckless, and self-absorbed—a healthy man looks like a unicorn.

And when a woman says she wants a man who’s emotionally evolved, disciplined with his urges, compassionate, and purpose-driven—people act like she’s auditioning for God.

All she’s doing is refusing to raise another grown boy in a man’s body.

Why Does Her Wholeness Feel So Threatening?

A woman who doesn’t need fixing, validating, or rescuing? She becomes a mirror.

And most people—men especially—hate what they see in a mirror that reflects unhealed wounds.

That’s why they reduce her to “too picky,” “damaged,” or “bitter.”

Because her standards expose their lack of growth.

But she’s not bitter. She’s just clear.

Clear that the bare minimum shouldn’t be praised.

Clear that she’s not emotionally bankrupt enough to call toxicity “passion.”

Clear that being single in peace is better than partnered in pieces.

So Here’s the Real Question:

Have we been calling women “above average” just because they refuse to settle for men who are emotionally, spiritually, and sexually undercooked?

Or have we lowered the bar so far for men that basic decency now looks divine?

Sit with that.

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💫 If you’re navigating your own healing, standing in your truth, and refusing to water yourself down for comfort—you’re not alone. I see you.

🔮 Book a tarot reading, explore shadow work, or join my community of self-led women here

You don’t need to be “chosen.” You are the chooser now.

Act accordingly.