The Love That Outlasts Romance: A Reflection on Soulmate Friendships
We talk so much about love in the romantic sense — falling in love, heartbreak, marriages, breakups, the “search” for a partner — but not enough about the kind of love that doesn’t need a ring, kids, or contracts to prove itself.
I’m talking about the love of a best friend. The kind of friendship that consistently and fiercely outlasts every romantic relationship you’ve ever had.
For me, that person has been my best friend. We’ve known each other forever. We’ve smoked together on the way home from work, laughed until wine spilled all over my carpet, gone to Afronation with our Winnie-the-Pooh bellies out on the beach, and even got fired from the same job on the same day (and laughed it off).
We’ve shared birthdays that she went out of her way to make special in a way no partner ever has, we’ve shared silence when I’ve disappeared for months, and we’ve shared endless conversations when she’s needed my attention every day for a week. She never takes it personally when I retreat and I never resent her when she leans in. There’s mutual respect and an understanding that love doesn’t suffocate.
She’s seen me at my worst — crying over men who weren’t worth the tears, struggling with my mother, drowning in responsibility, and I’ve seen her blossom into the woman she always wanted to be: wife, mother, caretaker of a life she built. I watched her walk into her 20s while I carried the weight of adulthood early and together, we learned how to be responsible and joyful at the same time.
Out of all the friendships and relationships I’ve had, this one is the only constant. And when I say “I love my best friend,” people who don’t know this kind of bond often assume I mean it romantically. But I don’t. I mean it in the way you love the one person who embodies all five love languages with you — the one who surprises you with thoughtful gifts, makes memories out of mundane moments, balances your weaknesses with her strengths, affirms your worth and has held you in laughter and in pain.
Romantic partners came and went. Some almost became husbands. All failed to make me feel seen the way she does. And that’s okay — because love doesn’t have to look like the script we’re handed.
For some of us, love is the friend who cooked while I cleaned. The friend who rooted for me even when it was messy. The friend who matured alongside me, but who never lost the ability to laugh until our stomachs hurt.
She is my soulmate — not in the romantic sense, but in the way that matters most.
If you’ve got a friendship like this, don’t underestimate it. Don’t let anyone make you feel like it’s “less than” because it doesn’t fit the usual narrative. Sometimes the love of your life is your best friend, and that’s more than enough.
✨ Your Turn
Do you have a soulmate friendship like this? Have you ever felt like your best friend has given you more love, loyalty, and care than any relationship ever has?
Share your story — and let’s normalize celebrating friendships as life partnerships, not “consolation prizes.”
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Because love doesn’t always look like a wedding dress and vows. Sometimes, it looks like wine-stained carpets, matching work outfits, and knowing that no matter what — she’s your constant.
