The Spiritual Ego: When You Become Addicted to Being ‘Awake’

Awakening is not the endgame, a badge or a hierarchy… and it’s definitely not a license to hover above the rest of humanity, sipping sage tea while talking down to those who “just don’t get it yet.”

We need to talk about the spiritual ego—that seductive, slippery shadow that forms the moment you start feeling like you’re above the very journey you once humbled yourself to begin.

This blog post is a reckoning—for every healer who lost themselves in the mirror of admiration, for every seeker who forgot how to be human and for every soul who mistook awareness for enlightenment.

🧠 The Rise of the “Conscious” Persona

When I first stepped into spirituality, it was like coming up for air after years of drowning.

I’d been raised Mormon, handed a script that never quite fit my soul and left carrying the shame of trying to force myself into a mold that fractured me… So when I found astrology, shadow work and energy healing—it felt like I had finally arrived somewhere that made sense.

But here’s what no one tells you about the beginning of an awakening:

It’s addictive. The validation. The clarity. The community. The sense that you’re finally ahead after feeling so lost.

And if you’re not careful? That clarity turns into control. That community becomes competition. That awareness becomes arrogance.

You stop being the student—and start performing the role of the guru.

🔄 From Wounded to Woke to Weaponized

Let’s be real: spiritual ego doesn’t always come from malice.

It often starts in pain.

You’ve been hurt & lied to. You’ve felt powerless, so when you “wake up,” the power rush can feel like salvation.

You start decoding patterns, reading natal charts, spotting projections, calling out karma. You get better at seeing the why behind people’s actions… and (worse) at offering grace.

You forget that knowing the root of someone’s pain doesn’t give you permission to bypass their humanity.

And worst of all? You turn that same harsh gaze inward.

I’ve done it.

I’ve judged myself for crying too long. For “slipping back into 3D.” For not being able to meditate when I was heartbroken, or eat clean when I was exhausted, or smile when my world was falling apart.

Because somewhere along the way, I convinced myself that to be “awake” meant to be above the mess.

It doesn’t.

📿 Awakening Is Not a Performance

We’ve turned spiritual growth into a performance… and social media didn’t help.

Now, being spiritual often means that you must speak in poetic metaphors 24/7, your home must have a Himalayan salt lamp and 3 peace lilies, you must never get angry, unless it’s about shadow work. You must out-quote Rumi and out-journal your inner child every moon phase…

It’s ridiculous.

You’re allowed to be divine and a mess in the same breath. You can be healing and still struggling. You can teach others and still be learning. You can post about love and still be grieving someone you wish loved you better. Being spiritual is not about being palatable. It’s about being present. With yourself. With others. With reality.

🚨 The Danger of the “Healed” Identity

Here’s where it gets darker:

When you build your identity around being “healed,” you start fearing your own breakdowns.

Suddenly, crying feels like regression. Resting feels like weakness. Needing help feels like failure.

This is the spiritual ego in disguise.

And for many of us—especially those who run businesses or offer services—it becomes a cage. Because if we’re not the “enlightened guide,” who are we?

I’ve had moments where I questioned whether I could even show up as a tarot reader when my own heart was heavy.

I’ve wondered if I’d lost my gifts when my intuition went quiet from burnout. I’ve felt the sting of shame when I told a client “I understand” while knowing damn well I was still battling that same lesson.

But here’s the truth:

The best guides are the ones who remember what it’s like to be lost.

⚖️ Humility Over Hierarchy

Being awake doesn’t mean you’re better… It means you’re aware—and that awareness should soften you, not harden you.

You don’t need to correct everyone. You don’t need to spiritualize every experience. You don’t need to be the “most conscious” person in the room to have value.

You just need to be real.

I’ve met people who barely know a thing about astrology or chakras, but they live in such deep compassion that I’d trust them over any guru with a 10-step ascension program.

Because the goal is not to become elite. The goal is to become embodied.

To bring heaven down to earth—not float above it.

🪞You’re Still Human—And That’s Holy

You will fall, forget, feel jealous, bitter, tired, reactive.

You will lose your way and find it again… and that doesn’t mean you’re not spiritual, it means you’re alive.

I’ve grown more in the moments I sobbed on the kitchen floor than in any high-vibe visualization. I’ve seen more truth in moments of silence than in any trending soundbite… and I’ve connected more deeply with others when I dropped the mask and said, “I’m still figuring this out, too.”

The spiritual path is not a brand.

It’s a beating heart. A breath… A willingness to face yourself over and over again… That’s what makes you awake. Not the words. Not the image.

The willingness.

🔮 Ready to Get Real With Your Growth?

If you’re tired of the performative spirituality, the fluffy soundbites and the pressure to “be healed already”—book a reading with me.

Let’s speak honestly about where you are, what you’re moving through and what your soul is truly asking for.

🪞 Click here to book your reading

You don’t have to be perfect.

Just present.